chronic fatigue, Chronic illness, Fibromyalgia, insomnia, invisible illnesses, Uncategorized

Full-time Job

Old concrete wallI haven’t done a blog post in a while. This is mainly due to my health taking a big decline. I am back to being as worse as I have ever been. Being chronically ill is a full-time job, even more so when it is at it peak, and if the world didn’t hate me enough it has made me full of the cold.

My insomnia is chronic, As I write this it is about 4 am and I haven’t slept yet.

The Dr has altered my medication again and it has helped slightly. But with every medication comes side effects and they are making me drowsy and wiped out.

I am trying to look forward and focus on positive things. I am starting an evening class at the local college which runs for 8 week and afterwards you have to study for 3 weeks. I hope that this is achievable. But I know I am just not well enough and I don’t have the brain function to carry out a full-time course.

My husband and I are going away to see Shed 7 in November. I am really excited to get away, catch up with friends,see a band from my youth and spend some alone time with my husband.

So everything isn’t ALL bad. You have to try to look for the positives in life. even if it is something small each day that you are grateful for. It is the small things in life that make the difference.


chronic fatigue, Chronic illness, Fibromyalgia, insomnia, invisible illnesses

Take us seriously. Please.


It is time to wipe away the stigma that Fibromyalgia and other invisible illnesses are associated with. I mean really, who would want to pretend living in constant pain and being chronically fatigued all the time?  I would rather life my life to the full instead of wasting it by faking an illness which is associated with nothing but misery. Don’t you think that if we had the choice that we would be out there living our life to the full instead of being bed ridden, house bound and jobless.

The lack of awareness and understanding by doctors and health professionals is astounding. There is a complete lack of awareness amongst the whole population, which isn’t their fault. I knew nothing of this disease until someone I knew was diagnosed, then I was diagnosed shortly after. I had heard the name but knew nothing of the symptoms and hardships associated with the condition or the varying degrees in which folk suffer.

So much more research needs to be done on ALL auto immune diseases. The NHS has a responsibility to take these illnesses as seriously as other conditions which are visible. It is almost like their view is, you can’t see it therefore it doesn’t exist. There are many invisible conditions that are taken more seriously even though they are not always visible.

If the government and NHS took these conditions more seriously and really got behind them it would help to create public awareness which I think in turn would encourage more people to donate money to the associated charities. More donations mean more research could be conducted.

It is extremely sad that I see no “cure” or any effective treatment being discovered in my lifetime.


Good friends = Good times = Memories


Just back from an absolutely fantastic weekend away. Just what I needed. I have a great friend that let me stay with her for a few days. We don’t see each other often but when we do it’s like old times.

The weekend kicked off with a day at The Golf View Spa in Nairn. We had a really relaxing day using the sauna, steam room, Jacuzzi and hot tub followed by high tea and a nice relaxing treatment afterwards.

Saturday we went clothes shopping and I spent far too much money in Lush. I am a complete Lush junkie and it was money well spent, then we stuffed our faces in Macdonald’s.

Sunday we went to watch Inverness City Roller Derby V Granite City play at the Inverness leisure centre. It was their first home game and an absolute delight to watch both teams play. Inverness won! Their game play was amazing. If I could be half as good as them I would be happy. Their best Jammer was so impressive and I was completely blown away and absolutely mesmerised by her performance. The whole team was solid and all the hard work they put in really showed. It was great to be there and watch their first home game. Afterwards my friends and I got our skates on and joined in the roller disco. Great times whizzing around the arena listening to some tunes!

Absolutely buzzing after a fun weekend!

A weekend to remember! Good times!

chronic fatigue, Chronic illness, Fibromyalgia, insomnia, invisible illnesses, loneliness

Putting one foot in front of the other one, one step at a time


I have just got confirmation that I will be starting the CMI in First Line Management Course that I applied for. It starts in September and I am really forward to it. It runs over 8 weeks. It’s only one night a week with a few weeks of study at the end. I am hopeful that my brain fog will go away for a few weeks so I can put all my effort into it.  It’s not a long course, I thought I would go for something small and see how I get on then maybe move onto something a bit longer and more challenging. Fingers crossed.

I am excited and anxious all at the same time. Already starting to worry if my brain fog will be an obstacle and the added worry of having to self motivate myself to study for 3 weeks. I am not very good at self motivation I never have been. I really could have done a lot better at school if I had applied myself more. I didn’t go to University because I knew I just wouldn’t put the effort in that was needed to study for 4 years. I am optimistic that I will get a thirst for the course I am fairly confident the motivation will come.

This year so far I have completed a marketing course, gained my Personal Licence and now I have this course starting in September. Also in September I am doing a Record keeping course followed by a Business Start up course in November.

I have high hopes that all these thing may lead me onto something good and I am optimistic that my next opportunity may be within my grasp.

chronic fatigue, Chronic illness, Fibromyalgia, invisible illnesses, loneliness

One knock too many


Is it possible to have one knock too many and be beyond repair?

Everyone has their limit. Each person has different limits I compare mine to the same number of lives a cat has I feel like I have had my 7 knocks (lives) But I am young yet. There are many knocks ahead of me.

Someone recommended something to me today and it has really made me think about what they said. So much so it has been gnawing away at me ever since. Not in a bad way, but it a good way. I know what they said is completely right. I don’t think that I have the courage to do what they suggested but I am certainly considering it.

I have had a good long word with myself and reminded myself that I am Thor(a) God of Thunder and the strongest of the Aesir. Time to buck my ideas up, put my mask back on and get out there. I can let all the knocks keep me down. I am Thor!

I have to get back on my feet and face the world like the hard, strong person I have always been. Not like this stranger I have become. Time to resume normal service. Time to find my new place in this world. Time to grow a pair and get on with life. Life is for living and not a rehearsal. As Churchill said “Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”