chronic fatigue, Chronic illness, Fibromyalgia, insomnia, invisible illnesses

Take us seriously. Please.

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It is time to wipe away the stigma that Fibromyalgia and other invisible illnesses are associated with. I mean really, who would want to pretend living in constant pain and being chronically fatigued all the time?  I would rather life my life to the full instead of wasting it by faking an illness which is associated with nothing but misery. Don’t you think that if we had the choice that we would be out there living our life to the full instead of being bed ridden, house bound and jobless.

The lack of awareness and understanding by doctors and health professionals is astounding. There is a complete lack of awareness amongst the whole population, which isn’t their fault. I knew nothing of this disease until someone I knew was diagnosed, then I was diagnosed shortly after. I had heard the name but knew nothing of the symptoms and hardships associated with the condition or the varying degrees in which folk suffer.

So much more research needs to be done on ALL auto immune diseases. The NHS has a responsibility to take these illnesses as seriously as other conditions which are visible. It is almost like their view is, you can’t see it therefore it doesn’t exist. There are many invisible conditions that are taken more seriously even though they are not always visible.

If the government and NHS took these conditions more seriously and really got behind them it would help to create public awareness which I think in turn would encourage more people to donate money to the associated charities. More donations mean more research could be conducted.

It is extremely sad that I see no “cure” or any effective treatment being discovered in my lifetime.

chronic fatigue, Chronic illness, Fibromyalgia, insomnia, invisible illnesses, loneliness

Putting one foot in front of the other one, one step at a time

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I have just got confirmation that I will be starting the CMI in First Line Management Course that I applied for. It starts in September and I am really forward to it. It runs over 8 weeks. It’s only one night a week with a few weeks of study at the end. I am hopeful that my brain fog will go away for a few weeks so I can put all my effort into it.  It’s not a long course, I thought I would go for something small and see how I get on then maybe move onto something a bit longer and more challenging. Fingers crossed.

I am excited and anxious all at the same time. Already starting to worry if my brain fog will be an obstacle and the added worry of having to self motivate myself to study for 3 weeks. I am not very good at self motivation I never have been. I really could have done a lot better at school if I had applied myself more. I didn’t go to University because I knew I just wouldn’t put the effort in that was needed to study for 4 years. I am optimistic that I will get a thirst for the course I am fairly confident the motivation will come.

This year so far I have completed a marketing course, gained my Personal Licence and now I have this course starting in September. Also in September I am doing a Record keeping course followed by a Business Start up course in November.

I have high hopes that all these thing may lead me onto something good and I am optimistic that my next opportunity may be within my grasp.

chronic fatigue, Chronic illness, Fibromyalgia, invisible illnesses, loneliness

One knock too many

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Is it possible to have one knock too many and be beyond repair?

Everyone has their limit. Each person has different limits I compare mine to the same number of lives a cat has I feel like I have had my 7 knocks (lives) But I am young yet. There are many knocks ahead of me.

Someone recommended something to me today and it has really made me think about what they said. So much so it has been gnawing away at me ever since. Not in a bad way, but it a good way. I know what they said is completely right. I don’t think that I have the courage to do what they suggested but I am certainly considering it.

I have had a good long word with myself and reminded myself that I am Thor(a) God of Thunder and the strongest of the Aesir. Time to buck my ideas up, put my mask back on and get out there. I can let all the knocks keep me down. I am Thor!

I have to get back on my feet and face the world like the hard, strong person I have always been. Not like this stranger I have become. Time to resume normal service. Time to find my new place in this world. Time to grow a pair and get on with life. Life is for living and not a rehearsal. As Churchill said “Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”

chronic fatigue, Chronic illness, Fibromyalgia, insomnia

The world is my oyster……?

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Here I am again with lots of time on my hands and I think to myself maybe I should see me losing my job as an opportunity to do something else? The only problem(s) with that are when you have worked in the same place for nearly 16 years it is really difficult to adjust to something else, I have been completely institutionalised by my old job. Doing the same thing at the same time everyday. I did enjoy my job though. The major hurdle is I am not physically fit to take on a new role anywhere doing anything. My brain couldn’t handle it and I would really struggle. I’ve had to give up on my Sage training as my brain fog has got so bad I can’t concentrate on anything. I can hardly concentrate on a tv programme!

So in a way the world is my oyster but I’ve been in the oyster world for nearly a year now and so far it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I keep my eye out for jobs constantly but so far nothing has interested me in the slightest. I think that maybe I am scared of having another boss put me through what I have already been put through. It has been one of the most horrific moments in my life and something that I will never recover from. Even though a year has past and it’s behind me, I will never get over the way I was treated. I really couldn’t go through that with the another employer. I feel I should be looking for the perfect employer, not the perfect job. Maybe I am the perfect employer? I have had ideas about starting up an employment agency for disabled people. But it’s just an idea, one of many that will never come to anything because I do not have the energy or the drive.

chronic fatigue, Chronic illness, Fibromyalgia, invisible illnesses

Ambition

Ambition Green Road Sign Over Dramatic Sky and Clouds.

When I am up late a night and unable to sleep. I often think about all the things I could/should do. I have many ambitions, I always have. The main one used to be to leave Orkney and get away from living a life under the microscope. I would pack up and leave tomorrow but my husband isn’t keen. I do realise Orkney is a great place to bring up your children but there is a lack of opportunities for them and me.

Another ambition is to travel more. There is nothing more I love than being in a different country immersed in a different culture and surrounded by people who speak a different language. Unfortunately being unemployed means that, that is on hold for now. It also means that owning our own home is out of reach too. I am happy with what I have in life but there is no harm having aspirations and dreams.

My main and biggest ambition is to be my own boss. I have no idea how or if I can achieve this but being my own boss is definitely highest upon my list. I have kicked around lots of ideas and plans but I haven’t found anything that will give me a good return on any investment I made. I have been to the Business Gateway with plans and they have agreed to help me create a business plan. But I’ve found as I have researched ideas that it isn’t that easy to recoup profits back from my investment. If I were to borrow money there is too much risk in being unable to make the repayments. So I have decided that to reduce overheads etc it must be something online or that I can do from home. I just need to wait for my brain to kick into gear and come up with the right idea. Part of the reason I write this blog is to help others like myself know that they are not alone. So maybe I need to focus on a business that supports those with different needs than the average person………….