I am just back from holiday. But it feels like I am back from 4 weeks trekking in the foothills of the Himalayas.
I was really dreading going on holiday, I always do…… well ever since I became unwell. before I became unwell travelling was my greatest passion. But this illness has taken that passion and desire away from me.
We have been away in a small place called Kellas outside Elgin. We stayed in a beautiful lodge on the grounds of the Kellas estate. We all had a really relaxed few days. We met up with my husband’s sister and travelled down to see my cousin and her family in Durno outside Aberdeen. Where we met her new baby. It was so nice to see them all and I was really sad to leave. My cousin has 2 young boys and so do I. We both don’t have sisters and for me, she is the closest I have to a sister. Sadly her mum passed away and I miss her terribly. So spending time with my cousin is like still having that connection with my auntie. Our boys don’t have any 1st cousins their age so it is important to me that her boys and my boys are close. I had lots of cousins my age growing up and I don’t want my boys to miss out on having that.
It is good to be home but I am exhausted. I know everyone comes back from their holidays feeling tired afterwards but chronic fatigue is so much more different from being “tired”. It will take me weeks to recover to normal. Which even then is poor health. It is all worth it in the end for me to see the happy smiles of my 2 boys who had a brilliant time and for me, that is more important than the pain and fatigue I have to suffer. But as the boys get older it is becoming more difficult to conceal my illness. They are not old enough to understand yet but they are both very switched on. Educating them is something I have to do and soon………