In your life’s defining moments there are two choices – you either step forward in faith and power or you step backward into fear.James Arthur Ray
In my life, there’s been one stand-out period of significant importance. It defined the rest of my existence. Surprisingly, falling ill, which resulted in the diagnosis of 3 chronic health conditions, isn’t it. However, it was the agitator of my transformation.
Losing a 16-year career because of chronic illness became a defining moment of gargantuan proportion. It changed every fibre of my being. Now I see the world from a different perspective, I had an awakening. The realisation I had to look after myself, not rely on others, and just because you would do anything to help someone (even to your own detriment) It doesn’t mean that you will be afforded the same in return. I am still that person to a certain extent. Being a high-level empath makes it impossible for me not to help someone in need. I have just learned to not walk a mile for those who wouldn’t cross the street for me. I had to become my own change catalyst. I had to use this experience to change me for the better. Instead of reacting negatively to the behaviour of others, I learned it’s something I cannot control. I can however control the way I respond, and use these moments of adversity to triumph.
When you become chronically ill you lose control of everything. Your illness infects every part of your mind, body and soul. I found myself desperately scrabbling for things I could have power over. Until I discovered that I had the power all along. I took everything I had experienced and used it as a lesson. Look at people’s behaviour and learn from it. It can teach you a lot. It will help you to understand who YOU are.
Every time I’ve been mistreated by someone it taught me more about myself. I’ve learned it is not a ME problem it’s a THEM problem. The more you understand about yourself the easier it is to understand others.
Just like the Norse God Thor. I had my hammer back. There are periods when I might lose my hammer for days, weeks or even months. The difference is now I have a map. I know where to travel to find it now. Sometimes I will be too weak even to lift it, but now I know it’s there. It’s waiting for me and the day I am strong enough. After all, even Norse Gods have a day off.
The chain of events that followed that gruelling time shaped me into the person I am today. Had I not been the strong, stubborn, determined woman I am, I would never have got back up, after I was brought down. Nor would I have kept getting back up, every and every time the world or my chronic illness, propelled me back into a heap on the floor.
Thor is reminiscent of Jupiter, as they both deal with lightning and thunder. So this day of the week became Thursday.
Thor in Nordic mythology was the god of thunder. The name Þórr (Thor) is related to the word ‘thunder’. Thor controlled the weather. He is associated with strength, aggression and reliability. Thor is the strongest of all the gods and men.
What is the defining moment of your life?