With everything I have been through the past 4 years I know I have reached rock bottom. It has become a familiar place, a safe haven even. It’s not often I feel sorry for myself I don’t like to visit self-pity and I never envy other people’s good health and fortune. Rock bottom is somewhere I feel quite comfortable visiting. I always try not to stay too long and not go too often. I do find myself asking is there a way back up from rock bottom? I really don’t feel that it’s possible.
I realise my blog is very negative. Chronic illness is negative, there is no silver lining, no upside, no perks or benefits. So to be positive about chronic illness is impossible. If there is a way to be positive about it feel free to let me in on your secret.
The way I try to keep myself going is to look for the positive in each day, no matter how small the thing might be. Some days there are no positives. Some days I count getting dressed as a positive. My 2 young boys are what really keeps me going. Seeing their happy smiles, watching them play together, reading them books. All these things make me beam and I feel fortunate to have them in my life because without them, my life would be dark, there would be no light.