All throughout I have never belonged and always felt like I am just not quite good enough. I got no praise or encouragement as a child or an adolescent. I never belonged to a clique or a group. I just floated about from place to place never really being included, just ignored or bullied. All those experiences helped me to carve out a tough exterior which can be misunderstood at times.
It is ironic that since I became unwell with 2 invisible illnesses I have almost become invisible myself. Slowly bit by bit discarded by people with whom I used to be friendly with. It is almost as painful as suffering the with the constant pain from Fibromyalgia. Every morning I look in the mirror and ask myself ” Will I ever be good enough?”
I feel like a bit of rubbish that has been kicked into the gutter. Unimportant to anyone else apart from my husband and my children. This isn’t a visit to the place called self-pity it’s a visit to the reality that I wake up to every day. Pain on top of pain on top of pain.