I go through stages in life telling myself I’m more than but something always comes along and derails me from that thinking. I’ve been brought up as less than. Always told I’m not good enough. As much as I try to fight against feeling that way something always leads me back to feeling less than. It’s its engrained in my veins, my heart, my mind and my soul. I visualise my headstone “Here lies Thora, she was never good enough”
It’s a torturous feeling. It stops me from attempting new things, it makes me quit things without giving them a chance. When people drift away from me I always tell myself “of course they left, you’re not good enough”
I don’t seek sympathy. Just something to ease this gut-wrenching feeling. I seek escape from it but something always pulls me back. Maybe its where I feel most comfortable? Perhaps there’s a familiarity that makes me feel safe? Although I feel no comfort. Just uneasiness. Unrelenting loneliness and suffering.
Will I ever be enough?
Orkney Fibromyalgia Sufferer 