Going on holiday is supposed to be something to look forward to, something to be excited about. For me, this is not the case. Before I became unwell I used to love every trip I went on, including the travelling part. But now a holiday is something I want on one hand but I dread it on the other. In reality, I find it extremely tiring therefore I am unable to enjoy myself. I feel like being on holiday is exhausting, draining and hard work. Now being on holiday feels like a job. It has gone from being one of my most pleasurable activities to being one of my most dreaded activities.
I, my husband and 2 boys are going on our summer holiday on Saturday for a week and I am dreading it. I will get to see friends and family, spend quality time with the boys and maybe even do a little shopping. That is what I am trying to tell myself. Keep thinking positive and keep those negative harmful comments out of my head.
It’s not just the holiday I find exhausting. It’s all the preparation that goes into going on holiday as a family of 4. The washing of things you want/need to take away, the packing and I even find the travelling exhausting even though my husband drives. Then when you get home its the unpacking, washing, and drying all the clothes for 4 people which takes a while when the Orkney weather is unreliable and you have no tumble drier. Typing this I have a resounding feeling of dread. Before I became ill I would NEVER use the word dread and holiday in the same sentence.